A Different Perspective

As I told you guys yesterday, we have a guest writer today! Her name is Ella, and while she's been mentioned here before, she's never written for me. She's actively involved in a D/s relationship, and she attended Florida Moonshine with me last summer. We've stayed in exceptionally close contact since then, and we're DEFINITELY looking forward to this summer. Without further ado, here's Ella!

Heyeveryone!! My name is Ella, and I’m a friend of Keagen's. Kea’s blog is one of my favorites to lurk, and so it’s greatto be able to share a few thoughts!

A fewdays back, Kea blogged about a common experience in the D/s scene that shereferred to as “quicksilver.”


I think quicksilver is a great way to describe it. It has a certain mysticaland unexplainable quality about it that makes it so exciting. My understandingof this "phenomenon" is really quite simple. I perceive itto be a simple "connection." Whereas, this may seem insufficient, letme explain. I mean "connection" as a fundamental basis and anchor fora D/s relationship to thrive.


I wanted to label it "love,” at first, but love is much deeper, and moreprofound. Love is what grows from this connection and foundation. Love,however, encompasses a complete, sacrificial giving and will for the good ofthe other. This "phenomenon" we're describing, from my experience, ispresent from the BEGINNING! I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “love at firstsight.” People’s opinions vary on this matter, however, there is truth in everything.The people who were emotionally, physically, and spiritually invested in the heartof the other, I believe, are experiencing this “connection.” It's a chemistryand foundation from which love, submission, and trust is founded. It's simple,but this anchor and foundation is crucial. Without an anchor, attempts for adynamic, full-fledged, growing D/s relationship to grow will be thrown off itscenter.  Without a center and foundation,which is this "glow," "connection," or "chemistry",D/s does not flourish to its full potential. Only things and relationshipswhich are grounded in a solid foundation have the strength and potency to notonly bear the strenuous challenges of any dynamic relationships, but to producefrom themselves something fruitful and beautiful.


As the foundation, it continues to remainpresent and give meaning throughout the entire relationship. It is not merely astarting point marking an immature stage of development. The electricity andlife continues to send shock waves through your system whether it's the firstor hundredth day. Every single time is like the first. ;-)

This connection is the "soul" of D/s. It's the immaterial, animatingpart to the D/s relationship. It's difficult to grasp because it isimmaterial, it is life-giving, it begets LOVE. Even though we can’t quite grabtight to it, we can understand it and relate to it in relation to our innersoul. D/s reflects this intimacy of two souls with one another that transcendsthe physical limitations. It is an immaterial aspect, which through itsflourishing, has the power to take on a physical appearance apparent in the"glow." This life giving spirit is what allows for the fostering oflove. And this is where I believe this all reaches its climax. Keagen andKYOTKGUY are a perfect example of a relationship of where they’ve nurtured thisspirit, and it’s produced a love so strong that it BEGETS love. It is mypersonal experience that D/s finds its perfection and ideal in LOVE.

Loveis the highest goal to which we can aspire. When we are loved, we are singledout and reminded that we are special. Through the eyes of love, we can see thethings in ourselves that we are blind to. The “submissive” or “bottom” findsher/or his completion in the face of her/his opposite, her “Dominant” or “Top.”Because when you can see yourself through the eyes of your opposite, can youtruly see what makes you, you. In love you are giving yourself and you givesomething special and IRREPLACEABLE, and UNREPEATABLE. This power of love givesus the biggest meaning in our lives because we have found someone to giveourselves to. Love imbues every little action of submission with meaning. WeLIVE for this sacrificial love of giving ourselves to another.

D/sis different for every couple. This connection, spirit, and love manifestitself differently in every relationship. It has many different faces, allunique, but so special. That is why Kea and KYOTKGUY can love and appreciateeach other so intensely and their connection is so different than mine with myboyfriend and Top, Marc. We understand the unique quality our bonds, and it’salmost as if we’ve each invented, or re-invented, love because no one will love and practiceD/s like Keagen and KYOTKGUY  just as muchas no one will love and practice D/s like me and Marc. This simple “connection”gives way to the fulfillment and ideal of D/s.