The Right To Control

 Some advice I once gave a friend who is struggling with an abusive relationship she was in:

Ya know, the right to control is much like the gift of submission. While they may seem like one and the same, they are, in actuality, a bit different. Sometimes, they go hand in hand. . . . . . . .but sometimes not.

The right to control is just that. . . . . . . . . . . the power to direct behavior or events simply by entitlement. The gift of submission is far purer, and while the right to control may be involved, it may not. Submission makes control irrelevant, for it all comes in the same package.

Here is what the right to control is built on: love, trust, and MUTUAL respect.

Without those three piers, that right crumbles, stated or unstated. Respect is earned, and it's a two way street. It is IMPOSSIBLE to earn respect without giving it. . . . . . . . . . . . and when it's no longer being given, it has no longer been earned. Without trust, it is hard to have control. . . . . . . . . . it simply becomes a wary battle of wills. Without love, there is no trust, and once again, the pillars crumble.

Control is an inherent part of submission, but it isn't everything, far from it. Submission is a gift, one that is pure, simple, and joyous. . . . . . . . . . . when on unsteady, or rocky ground, however, it's best to just sit down and talk with the people involved, and not string anyone along. . . . . . . . for that creates far more pain in the long-run. If respect, love, and trust was there in the beginning, and the middle of the book was beautiful, have at least enough respect for the end to be gracious about it. Sometimes, endings hurt, and hurt badly, but NO ONE can take the memories away from you, or the person you've become. Never regret something that once made you smile.

The right to control is not easily given, nor should it ever be taken lightly. It is a high honor to bear, and should ALWAYS be used in the correct manner, for it is built upon a foundation formed of the highest emotion.