OTK

Tonight, I'm rambly, tired, spent, and have no idea where this post is going. I've thought about the security and safety this position provides for me, though, all day. So, I'm gonna write about it, and see where it goes. What is OTK? Well, over the knee, obviously. . . . . . . but a bit deeper, what is it? The solidity, the platform, the sense of security, the ability to be pinned, the body on body contact, the ability to be completely relaxed and supported, the lack of control, the trust in the one whose knee's you're over. . . . . . . . It being a place of learning, teaching, relaxing. . . . . . . a place of love, a place of support, a place of guidance.

Being over KYOTKGUY's knee is my favorite and least favorite spot in the world. When I'm about to be spanked, I all but detest it. It renders me helpless at his hands, I loose all control, and I know that I will end up sobbing like a baby. At the same point in time, it's comforting. His body supporting mine, his warm, loving touch, his firm, steady grasp. . . . . . . . . it provides comfort during an other uncomfortable time. It ensures that I stay fully in the present, fully aware of what's going on, and it provides a familiar, safe, stable platform of education.

When I'm not being spanked, I will curl into his lap all the time. It's a slightly modified OTK, but I'm still over his knee. I will lay over his lap, and then twist halfway onto my side, and kinda "curl" around his torso. Few things are more comforting. The close contact provides a sense of security like nothing else. The position keeps my mind with KYOTKGUY , and not wandering through compulsions, the past, or anything else. It's calming, stabilizing, centering, comfortable, and all without the spanking! It heightens my senses, and brings me into a restful, calm, stable submissive state. I take comfort in the position itself, in the contact, in the security, in the love. The more contact he gives, the more content, peaceful, safe, protected I feel. His hands on my wrist, or him leaning down over me, or his hands flat on my back. . . . . .  . In this position, I feel as though nothing could go wrong, and I'm completely safe. We are in a bubble, and the world must come through him in order to get to me. I am able to completely let go. (Unless, of course, I'm being spanked, in which case, I usually want OUT of this position, with a quickness. . . . . . . Then, everything changes. I still know I'm safe and secure, but daggonit, it hurts!)

At the same point in time, when I'm in his lap like that, I take comfort in knowing how vulnerable I am to him, and how safe it is to be that vulnerable. At any point in time, he has the right and ability to jerk me out flat, and spank me, pin me, move me, whatever he may do. He has the right to ask me to bare my bottom, and shift fully over his knee. He has the right to gently turn me over, and settle me into place. Now, he always has that right. . . . . . . . but I'm a little more aware of my vulnerability when I'm already in/curled over his lap.

Funny thing about this position is that it changes. When I'm being disciplined, I'm usually thrown over one knee. When I'm laying over one knee, my every focus is on KYOTKGUY , his movement, his minute shifts in energy, what I've done, what's going to happen. It's much more focusing than if I'm  just gently curled over his lap. Reason being, nothing except hard spankings have EVER been given with me turned over one knee. (I think this makes his job of keeping me still easier. I have a low to average pain tolerance; I get squirmy.)

A lot of the time, a discipline spanking will start over one knee, and sometime in the middle of it, he'll pick my feet up, and lay me over both knees. Now, I'm a short kid. If I'm not on a couch, or a futon, or bench, or something similar, being laid over both knees causes me to dangle. Hands and feet not touching the ground kinda dangle. Without fail, I cry harder. I know why; It's because I like having my feet on the floor. I'm secure in the knowledge that he can fully support me, and I trust him to do so, but having my feet on the floor is my last little bit of comfort that this position has the ability to take, without fail. 

When I'm laid over both knees to begin with, that's a different story. I never know what's going to happen. I never know if I'll be let up without a spanking if I submit to being laid over his lap without any fuss or fight, or if I'll be spanked anyways. I may be spanked hard and fast, or I might just be given a gentle reminder. It could be a spanking for submission sake, it could NOT be a spanking at all, it could be a re-focusing session. . . . . . . it could be anything. Being pulled over both knees could carry any one of a million meanings, ranging from complete relaxation to a skin blistering lesson. So, because of that, if I don't know why I'm being pulled over, I'm usually a little more quizzical. I'm fully focused on my position, yes, but I'm also trying to figure out what's going to happen. Sometimes, I'll just crawl over his lap and fall asleep. I feel completely safe, completely at ease, completely protected, and completely his.