Resistance Is Futile!!!!

Or is it? I guess the real question is. . . . . what is resistance? Oxford American Dictionary defines it as "the refusal to accept or comply with something". I'm sure that every spankee has, at some time or another, been told, "Stop fighting me. You're only making this worse on yourself." I've often been asked, "Why are you fighting me?" The answer to this question is often simple and honest. "I don't know!" The fight is often internal, and deep, and the reason, unknown.

There are two parts to resistance. . . . . . acceptance, and compliance. Acceptance is emotional and mental. One can physically obey, and still be defiant as all get-out. That resistance often is expressed physically as frustration due to loss of control builds, which leads us to the second part of resistance. . . . compliance. Lack of physical compliance often has many root causes. One obvious one is simple defiance. (Although, one must ask. . . . is defiance ever "simple"?) Another reason is fear. One might be scared of the spanking, or of the emotional release, or scared of the loss of control. A big cause of resistance for me is the pain. While I am stubborn as all get-out, my pain tolerance is around average. In response to the continued pain of a spanking, a spankee will often try to hinder her spanker in any way possible, if only to get a few seconds of relief. (This "hindering" sometimes crosses wires with "I NEED MY CONTROL BACK!" which is a whole NEW situation.)

So, I guess the question now comes to. . . . . why the resistance? Why do spankees often struggle soo much? *simply* Like I said earlier, a lot of fight can come from within. I fight opposing battles all the time. . . . . the need to submit, and the desire for control. The need to cry, and the need to be "ok" and "stable". So on and so forth. . . . I'm sure we could come up with many dichotomies. Often times (and this is my experience, as well as the experience of many many spankees I've talked with), a girl will be fighting HERSELF, and her EMOTIONS, and not directly the spanker. However, all that is seen is the "defiance". . . . which it may or may not truly be. *shrugs* Here's the part of the equation that requires discretion on the part of the spanker. "Is she fighting ME, or does she need help fighting her way through an internal battle?" To be honest, my friends. . . . I don't know how to help you tell the difference. Defiance is often very easily noted through body language, tone, and what-not. . . . . the internal battle is a bit more complex. Speaking for myself, I WANT to submit. . . . but sometimes. . . . I just can't. Something in me holds me back, and I can't fight through it alone. This IS resistance, but it is NOT defiance. Tale-tell signs include a quick snatch of obedience, and then, a head buried in hands out of frustration. A tone that is edgy, scared, frustrated. . . .but a lot of that is directed inward. Body language is often "let down". It doesn't hold the tension of defiance. . . . just more a general acceptance.

How do you handle it? Well, my friends. . . . . that's up to you. In order to tell the difference, it's gonna take a whole lotta trust. In order to know how to best handle it, it's gonna take a whole lotta trust, knowledge, and patience. Basically, it depends. :-) Yes, I know. . . . that's an answer you guys LOVE. Sometimes, a spankee needs to be talked through the battle. Sometimes, a spanking will help her sort through the emotion. . . . and sometimes, just quiet, quality time helps more than anything. The battle within is sometimes the most intense one, and the one that can hinder more than anything else. With love, support, and patience, though. . . . new ground can be broken.