Puzzle Peices and Number One

My life seems to be like a puzzle right now. . . . . I get it all laid out, nice and neat, on a table, and every time I do so, some little brat comes and kicks the table. Boom. Scattered everywhere. LOL It'll come together. . . . . it always does. Due to scheduling issues, Clare has decided to move the shoot, date currently unknown. So, currently, I've got three shoots on a "whenever you're in the area" basis. . . . actually, four. Clare, Tantrum Trainers, C.C. Studios (which is new. . . . go offer some support!), and Darkside. I've got one in the making (Amature), and, of course, Girl's Boarding School. I've yet to hear anything from AEG about a shoot this month. Cross your fingers, you guys! I'm still trying to figure out logistics for Florida Moonshine, which I will attend. Period. Girl's Boarding School. . . . .my biggest issue is whether I leave from Denver or Birmingham lol. That one is little. :-) Alright. . . . . the post you guys have been waiting for. . . . . .Ahem. . . . . my top five! Yes, *rolls eyes*, I'm about to relive the five most painful moments of my life. . . . . *breathes in*. Let's roll!

1. East Coast Guy
This is my absolute number one. . . . . no questions asked. This is the absolute ONE and ONLY time I have ever been spanked to submission. I ALWAYS have this "haha, I win", or this spark left. . . . . I can always stand up and snap something off, or smile, or whatever. There's this residual "can't touch me" built into my personality. . . . there always has been. However, this time, as stubborn as I am, I couldn't hold out. This particular spanking was EXTREMELY severe, but was extremely warrented. I am a thrill seeker. I will do nearly anything for a few minutes of a rush. There is a set of behaviors that EC calls, "risk taking behaviors". You know, little things like driving 130 miles an hour, putting oneself in a dangerous situation for the sake of a thrill, meeting strange people, cliff jumping in unknown areas, you know, nothing big. Risk taking is a HUGE part of me. . . . and along with this set of behaviors comes a set of self-destructive behaviors. . . . .or so I've heard. That "I don't care what happens; I'm gonna do it anyways" thought pattern. Ok. . . . .background chatter aside. . . . . this spanking was given to draw my attention to the fact that danger is NOT acceptable, and I needed to accept the fact that a thrill could be found without putting myself in a dangerous or lethal situation. (Fact that needs to be known-- when I say I "cried" or was "sobbing", it is vocally. No wet tears involved.)He turned me over his knee, and started handspanking me. . . . and then he picked up a brush. This had me extremely vocal in short order. However, then, he started talking. Now, when I'm not receptive to something, talking about it just torques me off. . . . and this turned into a power struggle. I no longer saw the point in question. . . . . just a need to win. 15 minutes or so, I was over his knee that first round, with the brush. The middle of my thighs, all the way up, was blazing. . . . . and this was barely started. I could barely breathe, by the time he was finished with set, and then, he said, "Get up on the bed". My world just imploded with pain being my sole existence. I laid over his knee and just howled. . . . . until a brush landed on my legs rapid fire. “Are you gonna get up on the bed?” By this point in the spanking, I was bare from the waist down. I crawled up, still sobbing. I heard his belt come off, and then my cries went up a couple octaves. He strapped me from the top of my bottom to the very bottom of my thighs. By this point, it was the worst spanking I had received. . . . . and it wasn't over. I rolled over to try to get off the bed, and was stopped. He grabbed my wrist, "Get on your knees. Stay where I put you, do you understand?" I snapped. I jerked to my feet, looked him in the eye, and said, "NO". Well, that was the wrong risk-seeking response. . . . .I was jerked back over his knee, and my pain seemed to be my only sensation. It was at this time that I decided to shut down. . . . . no response. I went silent. I toughed it out. . . . . back over the bed. . . . . I couldn't hold out, at this point, with the belt. . . . . I dissolved, once again, into yelping sobs. "Go sit on the chair." This was a chair, placed against the wall, where one could "think". It was the acceptable version of corner time lol. I didn't want to stand there. I shook my head, “No no no.” I probably wasn't understood, because I could barely breathe. However, my body language, and lack of motion, made my intent clear. “You gonna go?” I shook my head, trying to stop sobbing. I felt myself being yanked over his knee, and I dissolved into a howling mess again. His hand landed across the backs of my legs more times than I could count, and for the first time EVER, I was spanked into submission. Spark, gone. “You gonna go?” I rolled off his knee, and walked to the chair. I was still bare from the waist down, but I didn't care. I just didn't care. . . . all I cared about was how much my bottom hurt, and howling out my pain to the world. I held my head in my hands and used the wall for support as I fought for control of my body. 10 minutes later, the sobs had finally stopped wracking my body. I leaned against the wall, and enjoyed the coolness. I was waiting to be called back over for my hug. I was glad it was over. I had definitely learned a lesson. I was never going to do it again. Well, was I in for the shock of a lifetime. . . . He walked over, holding my pants. “You can put these in front of you and walk back over here, and then get back over my knee.” Instant obedience, but I had already started sobbing. He bent me over his knee, and started handspanking me. Internally, I could see lights flashing as I battled the pain. During the 15 minutes waiting, my bottom had bruised. . . . . and I was being spanked over that. My bottom felt a little hard, numb, but the backs of my legs hurt worse than anything I could remember in recent memory. I dissolved. . . . let myself go, and just blended with the sensations. He said, “Do you promise you'll be more careful in the future, and not put yourself in dangerous situations, and take unneccessary risks?” I just cried harder. . . . my life, right? Wrong. . . . . Well, I didn't answer for too long. He sat down, and pinned my calves over his lap so I couldn't pull my feet up or flip over. He then hand spanked the back of my legs extremely hard and fast. . . . I just screamed. I was over trying to draw enough breath to cry. . . . I screamed. My need for honesty lost to my need to have the pain stop. "YES, SIR!" Not good enough. . . . .he wanted me to repeat what he'd said. I have an undying, unyielding need to be in control. . . . . and I was NOT going to give up enough to repeat it. I'd heard it; I'd acknowledged it. . . . . not good enough. "Kiddo, I need you to repeat it. I need to know you fully understand." I didn't want to say it. . . . I didn't want to give up my last claim. I buried my head in my hands and continued to sob. I felt him grab my right ankle, and move it far away from my left. I immediately crossed my feet, which is my first response to the pain of a spanking. He grabbed my ankle again, and moved it. “Leave it there, you understand? I'm not lookin' at anything.” His belt landed across my left leg six times. The edge wrapped around to the inside of my thigh. . . . . it was murder. I started screaming again, and I crossed my feet. He handspanked me for far longer than I could keep track of. . . . and then he said, “Leave 'em where I put them.” You'd better believe I fought to keep my feet apart. He walked to the other side of the bed, and he strapped my right thigh. Back, and forth. Back and forth. A total of 36 strokes. I managed to sob the phrase out. . . . . and then it was over. He spent the next 30 minutes or so calming me down. . . . . and it DID stay my risk taking for several months. . . . .

Now, I know it sounds severe. . . . but it WAS consensual. . . . well, consensually non-consensual. I was not forced to take this, and I did have the option of safe-wording. Safe-wording is not in my nature, as a matter of pride. However, the option was there, and it would have been respected. So therein is my number one! Number two to follow. . . . .the first person to comment, tell me if you want 'em all over today and tomorrow, or if you want them over a period of 5 days.

**EDIT** The first commenter said, "I don't care", basically, so, I still need to know. . . . all five over the next day or so? Or. . . . .over a period of five days? Comment Comment! **EDIT**