Blackboard Lessons

This is a list that was emailed to me that I found rather humorous. I modified a couple of them, added a couple in, and now invite you to do the same.

If your spanking escapades could be boiled down to a sentence, what would it be?

• I will not create intricate wood burning designs in the paddles. 
• I will not carve the flogger handles. 
• I will not yell "safeword" in the grocery store. 
• I will not sell the names on my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer. 
• A burp is not an appropriate response to him. 
• I did not win an Emmy for my last session.
• I cannot fire him. 
• My last assignment was not stolen by one-armed net hackers.
• I will not use the bondage table as a skateboard ramp.
• I will not use pages from the Dom handbook to start the grill.
• I will not hide implements. 
• There is no such thing as "immunity". 
• Just because it is funny doesn't mean I can't be spanked for it. 
• It doesn't matter if I think it's fair or not. 
• I will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before the party begins.
• Sarcasm isn't free, nor is it a service I offer.

I apologize for the lack of quality of some of my recent posts; life here has been interesting, to say the least. Drama is a life-blood leaching son of a gun that seems to grow bigger with every day. While I greatly enjoyed the time away and my vacation, running from a problem doesn't mean it's not waiting on you when ya get home. All the stress that I wasn't feeling in Virginia now seems to be squarely dumped on my shoulders, and I feel like an entirely different person. This situation will resolve itself soon, and I'll get my brilliant observations back again. Hang with me until then. :-)

P.S. Happy Saint Paddy's Day!