Submission of the Mind

This wolf has laid his will prostrate at the feet of his leader. He knows that his place is to be led, and he feels safe and secure in his place. He knows his leader will take him no where dangerous, and will look out for him at all costs. He allows all of his vulnerable parts to show, and he is comfortable in his knowledge that his leader will not hurt him. If a challenge were to occur, this wolf would quickly be flipped and pinned into place, and the challenge quickly forgotten as he was put back in the place he belongs. . . . His security in that place does not make him weaker, or inferior. . . . simply better suited to be led. If he were forced to lead, he would quickly become scared, edgy, out-of-sorts, and aggressive. He isn't meant to lead. While he can, he is better suited following. That doesn't make him weak; it makes him different.



The popular definition of submission is something along the lines of "laying your will in the hands of another". Another one is "giving someone total control of your body, heart, soul, and mind". While there are MUCH lesser degrees of submission than the "total control" model, most of us NEVER reach total submission. Think about it. . . . total control of BODY and MIND. I take no greater comfort, usually, in allowing KYOTKGUY control. Now, I won't lie. . . . I'm willful, passive-aggressive, and I have a control side, so I get frustrated quite often. . . . yet choose to fall back into his arms, in the end, every time. *rueful grin* It takes me a bit of time, sometimes, to recognize his reason for something, and to allow him to lead. . . . not that I really "allow" him to do anything. . . . It just takes some time for my hard head to let go of some deep-set needs to come out on top. Sometimes, it takes more than a gentle reminder who's in control, and that, too, is needed. I don't like it at the time. . . . don't like the lead-in. . . . don't usually come to terms with the fact that it's needed until after it's over. Once it is, though, I feel secure in the knowledge that my MIND is back where it needs to be.

You see. . . . my resistance often is not physical. It's mental. I mentally resist being led. I mentally resist being taken care of. I resist allowing my feelings, my vulnerabilities, to show. I resist allowing the fact that I need help to show. . . . on so many fronts, I resist.

Somehow, someway. . . . I want to work through that. I want to work past those deep-set blocks, and give him the gift of not only physical submission, but of TOTAL submission of my mind.

I usually end up getting discipline spankings over stupid moments of impulse, or being reckless. I don't have a problem submitting to them. I know I deserve the spanking, and I need to konw that he cares enough to gently, yet firmly, put me back in my place. The resistance comes DURING the spanking, and it is not inherently physical. My mental blocks are expressed physically. . . . but in working through the physical side (such as jerking away, or fighting being pinned), my mental blocks become a little less ingrained.

*simply* That is my goal. I want to allow open access to my mind, feelings, and soul. I want to feel just as safe and at ease with that access as I do with physical submission. I want there to be no resistance. . . . .

Just a bit of clarification. . . . . this post sounds a bit more BDSMy than most of my work does. . . . . *simply* Submission is a very big part of my life, but the other aspects are not.