Secure Submission

The past few days have found me in weird headspace. I've been waspish, withdrawn and irritable. I haven't been openly testy and most of the "weird headspace" has been internal headspace. I've found myself dealing with a kind of insecurity that I'm not familiar with and haven't experienced.

Namely,  some deep-seated part of my mind NEEDED to know that KYOTKGUY would respond as he always had, in a predictable fashion and as I needed him to. I found myself going through an internal "so what" fest. My internal voice was throwing a constant "so?" back at me. I was still obedient because the rational part of my brain KNEW that the consequences for NOT being obedient were far from worth it. At the same point in time, I knew that I was needing an exercise in obedience, in submission and a reminder of not only my place, but of his in leading, directing and loving me.

It took me two days to ask. While I had been spanked a couple of times over the few days leading up to this, they were quick, short, sharp, shock kind of spankings. Kinda like. . . . . . "I've absolutely had enough of your sarcasm" or an "Excuse me?" kinda deal.

Going through an exercise in submission, I don't know what to expect. Sometimes, it takes the form of a spanking. Sometimes, it doesn't. I wasn't leaning towards one way or the other . . . . . . If I received a spanking, so be it. If not, that was perfectly ok with me, too.

Last night, we were laying in bed and I asked him to remind me that he was in charge and in control. We talked for a little bit and I did end up getting spanked. He spanked me to tears and then kept going  . . . . and then basically let me cry myself to sleep held securely in his arms. I remember nestling in tight against his belly and then, waking up this morning.

He had gotten up before me and as I came to find him it was quite clear that both of us were in a bit of a different headspace. We were much more relaxed and affectionate, much less tension between us. I'm not sure if either of us was wholly aware of the tension but I can certainly feel that it's gone.

He sent me back to the bedroom to wait on him, bare bottomed. This morning, we went through another exercise in submission and will do so at least two more times today. I know of two scheduled times. As far as anything else, it is his right to remind me of my submission as often and in whatever way he deems fit . . . . . . and I love knowing that he can, and will. I'm quite secure in my submission, my place, my role, and in being his.

P.S. Photo by Real_Discipline.